How many of you have an Ex that’s now one of your best friends? It’s like you still have that great connection but you don’t have any of the complications that come along with being in a committed relationship. Why is it so hard, though, to turn a boyfriend or girlfriend into just a friend? Sure, feelings are going to be hurt and ego’s bruised but it seems silly to throw away a relationship for good just because they didn’t work out somewhere between the bedroom and the sidewalk. I have an Ex named Fred (yes, that is his real name. I would have used a false name to protect his identity but it just worked too good for the title.) We dated for awhile when I first moved to New York and after several months of trying to get things right we (ok, I) realized it was just all wrong. We split up and went the usual self-torture route of trying to stay in touch only to find out that they had moved on and gotten involved with another person. But soon we became the “When Harry Met Sally” type of friends. Its been several years and we have a fantastic relationship where we can hang out, laugh, help each other with our problems, but in no way shape or form do we want to sleep together. It’s quite perfect because we know each other’s in’s and out’s, yet there is no tension, confusion or underlying awkwardness. It’s just two people who really like and appreciate each other. That’s it. End of story. I wish I could be like this with all of my Ex’s, but unfortunately it’s just not that easy. There’s too much baggage that’s been carried around and we are too tired to open it all up and see what’s inside. I think the key to turning your current boyfriend or girlfriend into just a friend takes a lot of finessing so that we get the words just right and we make a clean break without any blame or drama. If you are contemplating going through this transition, I highly recommend that you sit down and think about exactly what you are going to say so that you can hopefully lose the relationship and gain a friendship. Because in the end, when you go to break up with someone…it’s all in the delivery.
