In my ever exhausting attempt to figure myself out over the years, I have come to realize that there are a few words in my vocabulary that need a little looking at, as I believe that I may be abusing one of them and it is starting to spin out of control. It’s time to come out of denial and admit it… I am a “Sorryholic.” After years of torturing myself and my loved ones with this useless, mind-numbing little word, I now formally admit that I have a problem and I’m willing to take the necessary steps to rid myself of this evil condition. I understand I just use this word to mask my own inner pain, and now it is time to face reality, stop living this lie and start being honest about my true feelings. I recently decided to do a test and see how many times in one day I used the word “sorry,” sometimes without even realizing it, and examine its potentially negative impact on those around me. One day I counted fifteen, FIFTEEN times I said I was sorry and most of the time I didn’t even need to do it… it just came out of me like a bad habit. So why? WHY? do I say “I’m sorry” all the time. Why do I feel the need to cover up what I am really wanting to say (“You are in MY way you crummy bastard!”) with something that just seems to put a band-aid over the situation, and simply let’s me avoid confrontation. I look to my past and see that the “Sorryholic” gene does seem to run in my family and with all the stress and pressure of living in a big city, it is surely easier to just say your sorry than actually deal with the situation at hand. It’s pure escapism, I know, and it’s time to put a stop to it. I will miss being able to “sorry” my way out of a situation, but I know it’s time to face facts and realize it is a slippery slope between saying “I’m sorry” too much to being a downright “sorry” addict, not to mention it does nothing for my self-esteem. It will be a difficult climb I know, but I gotta quit. I will have to take it one day at a time, but just admitting to myself and others that I have this problem really does help. So thank you for listening and now that I’m done battling my inner demons, it’s time to relax… wanna meet me for a drink?
