‘Tis the Holiday Season and as the social scene kicks into full gear, one hopes to be invited to many, many festive parties hosted by their very glamorous, well-heeled friends. Now, although many of us were raised in decent households with parents who taught us to be polite and the importance of good manners, I have found that many guests feel they are above the laws of social graces and it is to those readers that I am speaking to now. As we all sit down to write out our guest list of influential friends we will be inviting to our soirees this year, I am sitting down to write the Ultimate List for Guests on how to best behave at these all important events to ensure that you will be included again next year. Here we go…
1. Never show up empty handed, but do your best not to bring flowers as this forces the hostess to have to track down a suitable vase, cut open the tacky plastic wrapping and create a stunning arrangement in less than 10 minutes…next to impossible.
2. If there are young children present, always comment on how adorable they are, even if they are butt ugly and stepping all over your new Manolos.
3. If attending a private party in someone’s New York apartment never, I mean NEVER do any or all of the following. a) Comment on the size of the apartment (discussing square footage is not a good icebreaker.) b) Ask where the other closets are…there are probably only two as the third has been turned into another bedroom. c) Wonder where all the noise is coming from. If it’s not the neighbor’s toilet flushing it is just a small aircraft hovering overhead.
4. Do your best to mingle with the crowd and introduce yourself to other guests. At this point your host is probably three sheets to the wind and can’t remember her colleague’s husband’s boyfriend’s name.
5. If you are the host, there is one rule for you too. PLEASE do not give us guests the “grand tour” of your house. Unless there’s a martini bar in every room, we could care less.
6. DO NOT overstay your welcome. Unless you are best friends with the host, do not be the last one sitting on her couch crying over your recent break-up or the unsuccessful boob job you had last summer, it’s just not cute.
7. Consider for a moment that dancing wildly on the bar (although served you well at Dick’s Sports Bar last weekend) may not be appropriate at a client’s cocktail party, no matter how great the music is.
8. Try not to leave your dirty glasses strewn about the house, especially if you are wearing your “trademark lipstick” if it’s not long lasting, you WILL be found out.
9. Do not attempt to make-out with any of the following people…the host’s husband or wife, the cute cater waiter, the 75 pound pit bull even though he is wearing a Louis Vuitton collar, or the doorman who you had the “most amazing conversation with.”
10. Always follow-up with a thank you note or phone call. Even if it was the most painful night of your life always make it seem like it was the most magical event of the year. If you could care less about these people write an email or do nothing at all, this will guarantee you will never have to go back!
So now that you are armed with the Ultimate Guest List you can erase “Improve Social Etiquette” off your New Year’s Resolution list and simply have a good time. Following these simple guidelines will ensure that you are the most charming and sophisticated guest at the party and guarantee you another round of invitations to all the fabulous events of the upcoming year. Now that’s something to celebrate!
